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66 Worst Dog Names Of All-Time (#13 Is Beyond Ridiculous)

Worst Dog Names

At first, you might find naming your doggo not that big of a deal. 

Until you remember…

One way or another, you’re gonna say their name in public. 

Plus, once given, you shouldn’t change it.

So, what dog names should you avoid using?

Keep reading to discover:

  • 66 worst dog names of all time.
  • Why naming your pooch “Doug” is a bad idea.
  • The reason why you shouldn’t name your pooch Bruno (how it impacts training).
  • And much, much, more…

66 worst dog names of all-time


#1: Bruno

Although the popular Disney song tells us not to talk about Bruno, we will now.

Because you shouldn’t name your pooch that way. 

You see, its second syllable sounds so much like the command “no.” 

As a result, your pup might feel like they’re being scolded every time you call their name.

“Since the second syllable doesn’t work, how about shortening it to only the first syllable?”

Well, calling your pooch Bru still doesn’t sound right. 

So is Bruno a good name for your pooch?

Bruh, no.

#2: Stay/Tay

Don’t give your pooch names that sound so much like a command. 

They might end up doing the command that’s in their name and not the one you’re teaching them.

#3: Sexy/Segzy

This is a recipe for an awkward conversation during a visit to the clinic. 

“Can you please move Sexy’s butt higher?”

“I’m gonna open Sexy’s mouth now.”

#4: Max E. Pad

The play on words is witty. 

But when you take it to the dog park…

Yeah, it just won’t do.

#5: D.O.G/ Dioge

This one’s funny 5 years ago. 

Now, it’s just not that effective in bringing any laughs. 

Also, it’s a bit lazy to just name your pooch after a literal spelling of their kind.

So, N.O.

#6: Anas/Anus

Anas just sounds like Anus. And obviously, both aren’t good names for your pup.

#7: Dog/Doug/Doggy

Naming your doggo, dog, or doggy is just lazy. 

Your pooch deserves more creativity. 

#8: Poo/Pooh/Puwi/Pooey

Though the spellings are different, it all sounds the same. 

Your pooch can be stinky and, yes, pooey sometimes. 

But naming them after ‘poop’ is taking it too far.

#9: Poochie/Poochy

And here’s another case of stating the obvious. 

Yes, you have a pooch. But do you really have to call them poochie?

#10: Little brother

This can cause confusion in the household if you have a little brother of your own.

What’s more, child services may come knocking at your door because people hear you say:

“Mom, little brother’s chewing the sofa again.”

#11: Christian Grey

Christian Grey Is One Of The Worst Dog Names Of All Time

Books can be great inspirations for some good dog names. 

But if you name your pooch after the infamous hero from “50 shades of Grey”…

You can have conversations like this:

“Why is Christian Grey rubbing his butt on the floor?”

“I don’t know. Maybe an insect bit him when he was pooping in the garden.”

And let’s be real – this is way too long for a dog name.

#12: Syndrome

Now, this could’ve been a badass name. 

Until you teach them the command “down.”

#13: Grandma/Gramma/Granny/Gran

It’s not a good idea to name your dogs after a relative. 

In particular, naming them after your grandma. 

Imagine saying, “Grandma, don’t pee on the floor.”

Or…

Granny you need to stop biting people. They just want to rub your belly.”

Yep. It sounds so wrong (on so many levels).

#14: Buddy

This is another generic name for your pooch. 

Next!

#15: Girlie

And this is the female version of ‘Buddy’.

Your female pups deserve better and more creative names.

#16: Karen

In this age, being called a Karen isn’t a compliment.

I mean, unless your dog wants to complain to the manager of a restaurant or a cafe…

You have no valid reason to call them that.

#17: Dick/Dicky/Dickie

Whether it’s an honest mistake or not, please don’t name your pup Dick. 

Imagine hearing a friend tell you:

“Your Dicky looks bigger than the last time I saw him.”

Nope.

#18: Kitty/Cat/Pussy

Naming your dog after an animal that’s clearly not a dog for the sake of a joke? That’s not even funny and it isn’t worth it. 

You’re just giving your pooch an identity crisis.

“Hooman, I’m a doggo. 

But why am I named Cat?”

#19: Dump Truck

This actually happened to a family who let a 3-year-old boy name their dog. 

And that’s the name he comes up with. 

Lesson learned: Don’t give children pet naming privileges.

#20: Ugly

This is a total lie since all doggos are beautiful creatures. 

#21: Brownie/Blacky/White

Yes, that’s the color of your pooch.

But it’s redundant to name them after their coat color.

#22: Simba/Cimba

Simba/ Cimba

Technically, Simba is a famous name for a lion. 

Not a dog. 

#23: Bella

This is the most famous popular dog name in America, according to CBS.

And why would you give your pooch a name that a lot of doggos already have?

Your unique pooch deserves a more special name.

#24: Your pooch’s breed ( Pug, Corgi, etc.)

Another lazy naming method is giving your pooch the same name as their breed. 

“What’s your dog’s name?”

“Pug.” 

“Yes, I see a Pug. But what’s their name?”

“Uh, Pug.”

See the problem here?

#25: Stain

Aside from sounding a lot like stay, there’s another reason why this is a terrible dog name. 

Try telling them to come to you. 

Yikes!

#26: Stupid

First of all, dogs are very intelligent. 

Second, you can get into some fights if you name your pup “Stupid.

“Hey, have you seen my dog Stupid?”

#27: Starfire’s Spank Me Hard, Call Me Crazy

I’m not kidding. This is an actual dog name. 

According to NPR, this Pomeranian pooch attended the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. 

And there are a lot of Fidos with long names in the event. 

But “Starfire’s Spank Me Hard, Call Me Crazy” is a dog name that sticks to you for all the wrong reasons.

Editor’s pick: Do Pomeranians Make Good (Family) Pets? 16 Useful Insights

#28: Your mom

I’m pretty sure your Mom won’t be amused if you give this name to your Fido.

#29: Justin Bieber

Yes, he’s a famous celebrity.  And there’s nothing wrong with naming your pooches after your idols. 

But as a fan, do you really want to say or hear the words:

“Justin Bieber, I told you to poop outside and not on the floor.” 

#30: Adolf/Hitler/Pitler

So your pooch has some kind of a mustache and resembles a certain someone. 

However, naming them after a dictator is never a good idea.

#31: Stawwwlin

Much like number 30. So no. 

#32: WiFi

In this digital age, WiFi is very important. 

But naming your doggo after it just doesn’t work.

#33: Twerk

Your Fido has some wiggly butt.  And they’re pretty good at twerking. 

Still, calling them Twerk is unforgivable. 

#34: Marco

You’ll regret naming your pooch Marco. 

Because every time you call them in public, someone will definitely shout back, “Polo!”

#35: Snickers

Many have made the mistake of naming their pooch “Snickers.”

And almost all of them got in trouble because people thought they were saying racial slurs.

So avoid naming your pooch “Snickers” at all costs.

#36: Flea

Why name your pooch after a parasite?

#37: Bitch

Bitch

There’s nothing special or adorable about this name. 

It’s what you call a female dog. 

#38: Saddam

Another infamous man in history that you shouldn’t name your pooch after.

#39: Nacho Dog

You really like nachos, and you also love your pooch.

So you combine them and came up with…

Nacho Dog? Just no.

#40: Otterpop

Even if you have a pooch that looks like an otter, this name will still be terrible on them.

#41: Pope

Your next-door neighbor is gonna hear you say:

“Pope won’t stop humping my leg.”

Cringe!

#42: Fido

You’re better than this.

#43: Fart

Even if your pooch passes a lot of gas, it’s still not alright to call them “Fart.”

Reading tip: 9 Reasons Why Your Dog Farts So Much At Night

#44: Meat Stack

A little boy wanted to name their family dog “Meat Stack.”

Needless to say, the parents decided to name the pooch themselves.

#45: Covid/Corona

Nope.

#46: Coyote/Bear

Stop giving your Fidos names of wild animals.

Otherwise, you’ll give other people a heart attack.

“Bear! Bear! Come-”

Huh? Why are the people running away?”

#47: Boner

“My pupper likes bones so I named him Boner.”

Uh… you sure about that?

#48: Hereboy

And the corniest dad joke of the year goes to….

#49: Askim/Asker

This was supposed to be a joke…

“What’s the name of your dog.”

“Askim/Asker.”

I didn’t say it was funny.

#50: Sonic

Sonic

Just get a hedgehog, okay?

#51: Nazi

Pretty terrible name for any pooch, especially a German Shepherd.

Read next: 17 Reasons Why German Shepherds Are Good Family Dogs

#52: Jesus

When somebody says, “You need Jesus.” 

They don’t mean that you should name your doggo after the man.

#53: Satan

And here comes the counterpart. 

Why would you even want to call your pooch Satan?

#54: Al Coholic

You need an intervention when you give this name to your pup.

#55: Woof/Bark

How about I call you “Talk”?

#56: Whatchamacallit

Whatchama-What?

Try giving your pooch a real name instead.

#57: Meow

If only your pooch could speak. 

They’ll tell you how terrible you are at naming them.

#58: Sasha Biggiepotamus Fierce

This one got a little too creative.

#59: Roadkill

One word. 

Why?

#60: Honey/Darling/Love/Sweetheart

Is this even healthy?

I know you love your Fido, but there are better ways to show it.

#61: Enema

What’s wrong with you?

#62: Pig/Cow/Duck

People, please stop giving your pooch names of other animals. 

#63: Months or Days (January, February, Monday, Tuesday, etc.)

You’re raising a doggo, not a calendar.

#64: Jack the Ripper (or any other serial killer)

Because naming your doggo after a murderer will make you look like a psycho.

#65: Death

Maybe instead of fur parenting, consider getting therapy first?

#66: Name of your ex/spouse/in-law/enemy/etc.

Don’t be petty.

Just enjoy your life with your fur baby. 

And more importantly, don’t use any of the names mentioned above.