At first, you might find naming your doggo not that big of a deal.
Until you remember…
One way or another, you’re gonna say their name in public.
Plus, once given, you shouldn’t change it.
So, what dog names should you avoid using?
Keep reading to discover:
- 66 worst dog names of all time.
- Why naming your pooch “Doug” is a bad idea.
- The reason why you shouldn’t name your pooch Bruno (how it impacts training).
- And much, much, more…
Table of contents
- 66 worst dog names of all-time
- #1: Bruno
- #2: Stay/Tay
- #3: Sexy/Segzy
- #4: Max E. Pad
- #5: D.O.G/ Dioge
- #6: Anas/Anus
- #7: Dog/Doug/Doggy
- #8: Poo/Pooh/Puwi/Pooey
- #9: Poochie/Poochy
- #10: Little brother
- #11: Christian Grey
- #12: Syndrome
- #13: Grandma/Gramma/Granny/Gran
- #14: Buddy
- #15: Girlie
- #16: Karen
- #17: Dick/Dicky/Dickie
- #18: Kitty/Cat/Pussy
- #19: Dump Truck
- #20: Ugly
- #21: Brownie/Blacky/White
- #22: Simba/Cimba
- #23: Bella
- #24: Your pooch’s breed ( Pug, Corgi, etc.)
- #25: Stain
- #26: Stupid
- #27: Starfire’s Spank Me Hard, Call Me Crazy
- #28: Your mom
- #29: Justin Bieber
- #30: Adolf/Hitler/Pitler
- #31: Stawwwlin
- #32: WiFi
- #33: Twerk
- #34: Marco
- #35: Snickers
- #36: Flea
- #37: Bitch
- #38: Saddam
- #39: Nacho Dog
- #40: Otterpop
- #41: Pope
- #42: Fido
- #43: Fart
- #44: Meat Stack
- #45: Covid/Corona
- #46: Coyote/Bear
- #47: Boner
- #48: Hereboy
- #49: Askim/Asker
- #50: Sonic
- #51: Nazi
- #52: Jesus
- #53: Satan
- #54: Al Coholic
- #55: Woof/Bark
- #56: Whatchamacallit
- #57: Meow
- #58: Sasha Biggiepotamus Fierce
- #59: Roadkill
- #60: Honey/Darling/Love/Sweetheart
- #61: Enema
- #62: Pig/Cow/Duck
- #63: Months or Days (January, February, Monday, Tuesday, etc.)
- #64: Jack the Ripper (or any other serial killer)
- #65: Death
- #66: Name of your ex/spouse/in-law/enemy/etc.
66 worst dog names of all-time
Although the popular Disney song tells us not to talk about Bruno, we will now.
Because you shouldn’t name your pooch that way.
You see, its second syllable sounds so much like the command “no.”
As a result, your pup might feel like they’re being scolded every time you call their name.
“Since the second syllable doesn’t work, how about shortening it to only the first syllable?”
Well, calling your pooch Bru still doesn’t sound right.
So is Bruno a good name for your pooch?
Don’t give your pooch names that sound so much like a command.
They might end up doing the command that’s in their name and not the one you’re teaching them.
This is a recipe for an awkward conversation during a visit to the clinic.
“Can you please move Sexy’s butt higher?”
“I’m gonna open Sexy’s mouth now.”
#4: Max E. Pad
The play on words is witty.
But when you take it to the dog park…
Yeah, it just won’t do.
#5: D.O.G/ Dioge
This one’s funny 5 years ago.
Now, it’s just not that effective in bringing any laughs.
Also, it’s a bit lazy to just name your pooch after a literal spelling of their kind.
Anas just sounds like Anus. And obviously, both aren’t good names for your pup.
Naming your doggo, dog, or doggy is just lazy.
Your pooch deserves more creativity.
Though the spellings are different, it all sounds the same.
Your pooch can be stinky and, yes, pooey sometimes.
But naming them after ‘poop’ is taking it too far.
And here’s another case of stating the obvious.
Yes, you have a pooch. But do you really have to call them poochie?
#10: Little brother
This can cause confusion in the household if you have a little brother of your own.
What’s more, child services may come knocking at your door because people hear you say:
“Mom, little brother’s chewing the sofa again.”
#11: Christian Grey
Books can be great inspirations for some good dog names.
But if you name your pooch after the infamous hero from “50 shades of Grey”…
You can have conversations like this:
“Why is Christian Grey rubbing his butt on the floor?”
“I don’t know. Maybe an insect bit him when he was pooping in the garden.”
And let’s be real – this is way too long for a dog name.
Now, this could’ve been a badass name.
Until you teach them the command “down.”
It’s not a good idea to name your dogs after a relative.
In particular, naming them after your grandma.
Imagine saying, “Grandma, don’t pee on the floor.”
“Granny you need to stop biting people. They just want to rub your belly.”
Yep. It sounds so wrong (on so many levels).
This is another generic name for your pooch.
And this is the female version of ‘Buddy’.
Your female pups deserve better and more creative names.
In this age, being called a Karen isn’t a compliment.
I mean, unless your dog wants to complain to the manager of a restaurant or a cafe…
You have no valid reason to call them that.
Whether it’s an honest mistake or not, please don’t name your pup Dick.
Imagine hearing a friend tell you:
“Your Dicky looks bigger than the last time I saw him.”
Naming your dog after an animal that’s clearly not a dog for the sake of a joke? That’s not even funny and it isn’t worth it.
You’re just giving your pooch an identity crisis.
“Hooman, I’m a doggo.
But why am I named Cat?”
#19: Dump Truck
This actually happened to a family who let a 3-year-old boy name their dog.
And that’s the name he comes up with.
Lesson learned: Don’t give children pet naming privileges.
This is a total lie since all doggos are beautiful creatures.
Yes, that’s the color of your pooch.
But it’s redundant to name them after their coat color.
Technically, Simba is a famous name for a lion.
Not a dog.
This is the most famous popular dog name in America, according to CBS.
And why would you give your pooch a name that a lot of doggos already have?
Your unique pooch deserves a more special name.
#24: Your pooch’s breed ( Pug, Corgi, etc.)
Another lazy naming method is giving your pooch the same name as their breed.
“What’s your dog’s name?”
“Yes, I see a Pug. But what’s their name?”
See the problem here?
Aside from sounding a lot like stay, there’s another reason why this is a terrible dog name.
Try telling them to come to you.
First of all, dogs are very intelligent.
Second, you can get into some fights if you name your pup “Stupid.”
“Hey, have you seen my dog Stupid?”
#27: Starfire’s Spank Me Hard, Call Me Crazy
I’m not kidding. This is an actual dog name.
According to NPR, this Pomeranian pooch attended the Westminster Kennel Club dog show.
And there are a lot of Fidos with long names in the event.
But “Starfire’s Spank Me Hard, Call Me Crazy” is a dog name that sticks to you for all the wrong reasons.
Editor’s pick: Do Pomeranians Make Good (Family) Pets? 16 Useful Insights
#28: Your mom
I’m pretty sure your Mom won’t be amused if you give this name to your Fido.
#29: Justin Bieber
Yes, he’s a famous celebrity. And there’s nothing wrong with naming your pooches after your idols.
But as a fan, do you really want to say or hear the words:
“Justin Bieber, I told you to poop outside and not on the floor.”
So your pooch has some kind of a mustache and resembles a certain someone.
However, naming them after a dictator is never a good idea.
Much like number 30. So no.
In this digital age, WiFi is very important.
But naming your doggo after it just doesn’t work.
Your Fido has some wiggly butt. And they’re pretty good at twerking.
Still, calling them Twerk is unforgivable.
You’ll regret naming your pooch Marco.
Because every time you call them in public, someone will definitely shout back, “Polo!”
Many have made the mistake of naming their pooch “Snickers.”
And almost all of them got in trouble because people thought they were saying racial slurs.
So avoid naming your pooch “Snickers” at all costs.
Why name your pooch after a parasite?
There’s nothing special or adorable about this name.
It’s what you call a female dog.
Another infamous man in history that you shouldn’t name your pooch after.
#39: Nacho Dog
You really like nachos, and you also love your pooch.
So you combine them and came up with…
Nacho Dog? Just no.
Even if you have a pooch that looks like an otter, this name will still be terrible on them.
Your next-door neighbor is gonna hear you say:
“Pope won’t stop humping my leg.”
You’re better than this.
Even if your pooch passes a lot of gas, it’s still not alright to call them “Fart.”
Reading tip: 9 Reasons Why Your Dog Farts So Much At Night
#44: Meat Stack
A little boy wanted to name their family dog “Meat Stack.”
Needless to say, the parents decided to name the pooch themselves.
Stop giving your Fidos names of wild animals.
Otherwise, you’ll give other people a heart attack.
“Bear! Bear! Come-”
Huh? Why are the people running away?”
“My pupper likes bones so I named him Boner.”
Uh… you sure about that?
And the corniest dad joke of the year goes to….
This was supposed to be a joke…
“What’s the name of your dog.”
I didn’t say it was funny.
Just get a hedgehog, okay?
Pretty terrible name for any pooch, especially a German Shepherd.
When somebody says, “You need Jesus.”
They don’t mean that you should name your doggo after the man.
And here comes the counterpart.
Why would you even want to call your pooch Satan?
#54: Al Coholic
You need an intervention when you give this name to your pup.
How about I call you “Talk”?
Try giving your pooch a real name instead.
If only your pooch could speak.
They’ll tell you how terrible you are at naming them.
#58: Sasha Biggiepotamus Fierce
This one got a little too creative.
Is this even healthy?
I know you love your Fido, but there are better ways to show it.
What’s wrong with you?
People, please stop giving your pooch names of other animals.
#63: Months or Days (January, February, Monday, Tuesday, etc.)
You’re raising a doggo, not a calendar.
#64: Jack the Ripper (or any other serial killer)
Because naming your doggo after a murderer will make you look like a psycho.
Maybe instead of fur parenting, consider getting therapy first?
#66: Name of your ex/spouse/in-law/enemy/etc.
Don’t be petty.
Just enjoy your life with your fur baby.
And more importantly, don’t use any of the names mentioned above.